That's approximately 187 days since I blogged last. I have written and rewritten things to post, but I end up deleting them or changing my mind. I have waited for inspiration to write. When those fleeting moments have come, I usually didn't have my computer around to write, so the inspiration flitted away. Mostly, I have been tired and focused on other things. I have also been bugged by many bloggers lately and not wanting to lump myself in with the whole mess of them. I don't want to be pegged as one of the lame bloggers.
When I first began blogging years ago, the goal was just to get used to putting myself out there. With time, I became (somewhat) used to posting my thoughts on things, lessons I learned about life and Jesus, and other topics. I would write and toss it out there for all to see.
But then I let my head get to me. I began filtering my writing through certain people- the colleague I aim to be like, the relative that thinks they know me, the one waiting for me to mess up, blah, blah blah; and I froze.
So, enough about why I haven't written and on to why I will write again.
My husband quotes Mark Batterson all the time, saying "writers write". It sounds redundant and trite when you don't want to write or you're too tired to build a complete sentence. But it's true. A writer needs to spend time writing in order to hone the skill. Just as important and sometimes more difficult (for me) is getting used to the idea of people reading your thoughts and feelings.
Too much time has passed and now I have to get over my fear of people "reading me" all over again. I have to work those muscles again.
So here goes.
I'm jumping back into the deep end of the pool. I've done it once and can do it again.
I will write again because I need the practice.
I will write again because I have things to say.
I will write again because I process as I write and I learn "it" better when I write about it, whatever "it" is.
Mostly though, I will write again because when I experience something- whether it's something funny or something common but extraordinary, but mostly the presence of God- I just want to sit at my computer and get it out. Typing thoughts out confirms and clarifies them for me. Writing brings me back to a time of rapid, deep growth in my life and I feel stabilized again.
So, please disregard the lame blog posts I will occasionally (...err, ok, more like frequently) produce. Ignore the typos that will definitely occur. Look past the scattered thoughts or points that don't make sense.
PS- One of my goals for the new year was to get serious about recycling. I've done that. (Yep, I am proud about that, too!) My second goal was to consider an etsy shop for selling some crafty things… I am still pondering that. And thirdly, I challenged myself to blog again by the end of January. Tomorrow is the 31 and I met my goal!
If you're still with me, thanks for reading to the end. That took commitment! But now I ask you a question. Has there been anything in your life that once was somewhat simple, but then became too hard to do? Did you recover and rebound?